Intellectually I know that prayer is a conversation with
God- one that entails both talking and listening - where the ultimate goal is
to align myself with and submit to His will.
I don’t think I would find many to disagree with that
definition. But where I find myself in a
sort of bondage is on my side of the conversation where I have an agenda and/or
a list of “I wants.” “Please do this or
heal this or prevent this or protect this…”
Armed with more than just an agenda and a list, I feel this
overwhelming need to provide all of the solutions and perfectly lay it all out for
God in detail. I like to tell Him
exactly what I need, when I need it and how the best way to provide it is. I guess I am a bit bossy!
Further, I find myself constantly asking for things I
already have….like peace and joy and faith and protection. And I find myself forgetting that sometimes
we define words like blessings, healing, life and even death, in a way that is
different than how He defines them.
So today, I seek to intentionally change the way I pray.
I am going to pray with the foundational certainty that
whatever is going on, God has got it under control. Despite my surprises along the way, He is
never surprised and either ordains or allows every single thing that happens
for His ultimate glory….which is good.
There are things I will not understand and I am okay with
that. I do not need answers for everything
nor do I need proof. My faith fills that
gap. Like my dog who is afraid of
fireworks: no matter what I tell her or what
I do to comfort her, she just simply does not have the ability to understand we
are not in danger when she hears them in the distance.
The moment I chose LIFE through the blood of Jesus, God set
up shop in my soul and we were united as ONE!
I know because I know because I know that He has already gone ahead of
me – even prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies- and He knows
far better than I do what I need. He has
paved the way, cleared the path, and parted the sea.
So instead of nervously begging for safety, stability or success,
I am going to simply start praising, worshipping and thanking Him for those
things which I already have.
I am going to praise and joyfully worship Him for His
goodness, His grace, His mercy, His faithfulness, His sovereignty, and His
love.
And I am going to thank Him for patiently guiding me, intimately
loving me, faithfully delivering/ protecting me, and ultimately providing for
me.
I am finished giving God lists of things I want with the
specifics on how to deliver them.
I am finished feeling anxious because I forgot to ask Him to
protect my daughter’s health through the night or through the day at
school. Or I forgot to ask for healing
for a parent or a friend. Or I forgot to
ask for safety before I got on a flight.
Or I forgot to ask for financial blessings for my husband’s company.
After all, what kind of God would I be worshipping if good
things only happened for me or my family because I remembered to ask for
them? That would be transactional. It would not be love.
The Bible tells me that Jesus and the Holy Spirit intercede
for me. It also tells me that God knows
the desires of my heart. Therefore, my
lists are simply unnecessary. There is
no expectation set upon me to find the right words at the right time in the right
way. Because I already found THE “right”
WORD and He is all I need.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened
And I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden light.”
-
Matthew
11: 28-30
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