Afraid or Wise?

Recently, my daughter decided she wanted to get her ears pierced.  Well, at least she thought she did.  A few of her girlfriends have been wearing cute earrings and she wanted to be part of “the club.”

So I decided to let her do it.  Because I didn’t want to risk infection, I made an appointment at her doctor’s office.  

This appointment unfortunately gave her time to think about it.  By the time the day arrived, she had changed her mind and was scared to death.

I convinced her to at least go to the appointment and get some information.  I assured her that it was her decision and I would not make her do it if she really didn’t want to do it.  Reluctantly, she walked in but I could already tell this was not going to happen.

Let me say right here that I do not even like the idea of her having pierced ears.  I like for little girls to look like little girls and I am just not crazy about jewelry on little girls.  But I knew she wanted to do it.  So I decided to support her.  I admit I can be a little old fashioned at times.

I knew this was something she really wanted.  After all, she had told everyone (EVERYONE) that she was having it done.  And she seemed so excited.

But boy was she scared.  I tried to encourage her.  I did not want her to let her fear “beat” her.  So I pushed pretty hard.  I even considered holding her down while the doctor did it and just getting it over with.

But she was terrified.  In fact, “terrified” does not even describe it.  So I couldn’t.  I had told her that it was her decision and that I would not make her so I could not go back on my word.  I did not want to destroy her trust in me.  And truthfully, I didn’t even want her to do this! 

So we left the doctor’s office without earrings but with a huge sense of disappointment.  She cried for a few hours.  She was embarrassed and worried about what she would tell everyone.  She had let herself down.  She was mad- at me for not making her get them pierced (yes, you read that right) and at herself for losing courage.  She was even mad at God.  She said she had prayed for him to be there with her and He was not.

At those words, reality hit me like a ton of bricks.  Of course God was there.  He is always there. 

Maybe He did not want her to get those ears pierced….at least right now.  Maybe the gun the doctor uses was dirty.  Or maybe the doctor wasn’t feeling well and would have made a mistake.  Or perhaps she would have gotten some type of infection.  Maybe she was so afraid that she would have fainted or even worse. 

Whatever the reason, the timing was just not right.

I explained to my daughter that God always answers our prayers.  Sometimes, His answer is just “no.”  Or sometimes, it is just “not now.”  But He is always there, answering us…. And we have to trust him.

1 John 5: 14- 15

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God:  that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of him.”

This seemed to resonate with her. 

The next day, we happened to be out shopping and saw a little girl in a store getting her ears pierced.  That poor child was just as terrified as my daughter had been and she screamed and cried.  It just broke my heart.  I looked over just in time to see my sweet girl getting as white as a sheet and as limp as a dish rag. 

She came as close to fainting as you can come.  Just watching another little girl get her ears pierced was too much for her. 

There are so many examples in the bible where God tells us not to be afraid; so many biblical characters who we can read about to whom he gave strength to overcome fear. 

But there are also times when he tells someone to run.  Not out of fear, but rather out of wisdom.

When Jesus was born, an angel told Joseph to take Mary and Jesus and leave Egypt to escape Herod (Matthew 2:13).  He was not instructed to stand up to Herod and face him.  He was told to flee.  Now don’t get me wrong, God could have chosen that path.  But he did not.

Also, the Magi (commonly referred to as the wise men) were warned to return to their country by another route (Mat 2:12).  Again, God was protecting them.

We can also read accounts of Paul and his missionary travels around Rome.  In Acts 16:6, it says “Paul…having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia.”

Reading further in verse 7, “When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.” 

Again, God didn’t just make everyone cooperate with Paul.  He could have but He didn’t.  On the contrary, Paul was beaten, imprisoned, ship-wrecked and left for dead many times. 

God has a plan.  God is not always telling us to overcome our fear.  Now if the fear is related to endorsing and furthering His kingdom, then certainly we must look to him to give us strength and we must persevere.

Also, if our fear is related to danger from human enemies or disease, again, we are told to look to him for strength.

Psalm 91: 3 states that “Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.”

But sometimes our fear is warranted.  Sometimes God places that fear in us in order to protect us or rescue us—at least until wisdom and maturity take over.  Like we all know not to place our hand on a fire.  This is not because of fear but just because we have the wisdom and maturity to know what will happen if we do.

What about other fears and phobias?

Does he really care if we ride roller coasters?  I mean, I am sure that if I conquer my fear at Disney World and get on Tower of Terror, He will be right there with me for those forty five seconds of hell. 

Does he care if we climb Mount Everest?  Again, if I feel a need to prove something to myself one day, I am sure He will accompany me and get me through it.

Does he care if our little girls pierce their ears?  You can answer that one.

It occurs to me that he may just be sitting back saying, “Girl!  I didn’t tell you to do that!?!?!?”

Psalm 91: 9-15

“If you make the Most High your dwelling, even the Lord, who is my refuge, then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For He will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

14 Because he loves me, says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.”

Today, I pray that you will be able to hear God and perhaps give yourself a little break over those fears you beat yourself up about.  No sense in conquering a fear of skiing down a black diamond if you will be miserable the entire way down! 

Perhaps skipping the black diamond is not so much about fear as it is about wisdom.