Resolution 2013...Grasping God's Word

2 Cor 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."- ESV

Happy New Year!  I don't know about you but I always really look forward to taking down the Christmas decorations, cleaning the house top to bottom and starting a new year.  I usually spend that last day of December and the first day of January reflecting on all I want to do better going forward.  I don't really make resolutions, so to speak.... But I do spend time thinking about how I want to improve and grow.

One theme that comes up year after year is the idea of spending more time with God and growing in my knowledge of the bible.  I genuinely want more peace, more love, more joy, more patience, more kindness, more goodness, more gentleness, more faithfulness, more self control.  Who doesn't, right?

Well, this morning, I am heading off to start a new class called "Grasping God's Word."  Although I am very excited, I am also a bit intimidated as I examine the TEXT book I am about to dig into.  It has been a while since I took a real class and I sure hope I can find the enthusiasm and commitment that will be necessary to dig deep into this theology.

Why do I crave this knowledge?  Why am I so focused on increasing my biblical knowledge?  Why am I taking this class?

Having one child was not my plan.  It was God's plan.  I wanted four children to fill up my house with giggles and chaos.  Note my plan also included a wonderful pregnancy where I felt good and looked great..yada yada yada.  One child, a pretty rocky pregnancy and a near death delivery helped me snap into the reality that God's plan was THE plan and I needed to accept it and get on board.

Acceptance with me always leads to a series of analytical conversations with God where I just need to understand.  So I tell him why I think things should go a certain way and then I try to align myself with why He does not agree.

To me, having four children would provide this feeling of belonging.  It would prevent them from feeling lonely and would certainly give them love and joy.  It was also bound to give me these same things.  Right?

So when I discovered I was only meant to have one child (and I am so very thankful I could have this one child...this beautiful gift), I was very sad and very worried.  I felt she needed siblings.  

I wrestled with this for a long time.  I prayed.  I discussed it over and over with family and friends.  I was consumed with this.  FINALLY,  I heard God say, "the only thing she needs is ME!"

Woah!  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  But it's true, isn't it?  The only thing we really NEED is God.  
Having a deep relationship with God was really the only thing that would keep my precious child from being lonely and the fruit of the spirit would give her that love, joy and peace.

It was then I realized that I was not really in a position to lead her into that relationship because I myself did not really have it.  Although I spent my life going to church and being exposed to the bible and to God, I had tuned the Word out (found it a bit boring actually) and believed only what I wanted to believe about him.  Honestly, I spent most of my time focusing on what I wanted from Him instead of what He wanted from me....or perhaps what He wanted FOR me.

So, it was time to dive in and start learning what the bible- God's Word- actually had to say.  If I professed to be a Christian, I needed to understand what that truly meant.

Many bible studies later, I find that I know so much more and I am so much closer to God.  My faith has grown exponentially over the last ten years.  I find myself feeling much more peace and love and joy.  Yes, I am being transformed.

But there is so much more to learn and so much further to go in who I want to be and in who I feel God has made me to be.

So today, I am off to start this class.  I pray you too will carve out some time to get a little closer to Him.  The blessings that come from a relationship with Jesus are just huge.

Here's to new beginnings.

Peace.